Laurie Baedke (00:54.04)
Hello, my friends. Welcome back to another episode of the Growth Edge Leadership Podcast. I am your host, Lori Baedke and I'm grateful that you've chosen to spend a few days.
Laurie Baedke (01:08.62)
Welcome back to another episode of the Growth Edge Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Laurie Baedke and I am so grateful that you've chosen to spend a few moments of your day investing in yourself and your leadership. And there's a topic on my mind today which results from a conversation I've had dozens of times over the years, and it just happened again recently. So I'm coaching a physician leader, remarkable, bright, thoughtful.
She's highly respected, someone who has every reason to believe that she is exactly where she is, which is a formal leadership appointment in a prominent academic institution. But the overarching theme of many of our conversations and an objective of hers in our coaching engagement centered around leadership identity, executive presence, and imposter syndrome. There was an ever-present question on her mind of whether or not she belonged in the role or in the rooms that she was in.
And my message to her was, if you only knew, if you only knew how many department chairs or CEOs or deans and founders, how many executives have shared those exact same doubts? Maybe not out loud, but to themselves or in the confidence of coaching conversations or friendships, the thoughts of, do I really belong here? When are people going to realize I don't have this all figured out?
Am I the only one who feels this way? And I've come to believe something. I think one of the greatest disservices that we unintentionally do as leaders is not normalizing this type of uncertainty or pulling back the curtain to share leadership fallibilities. In fact, I think some of the strongest leaders I know, I think some of the strongest leaders I know are incredible crazy.
I think that some of the strongest leaders I have known are incredibly comfortable saying, I don't know, or I haven't always known. They don't hesitate to say, could you help me think this through? Or, wow, I missed that. Or even, your idea was better. That's not weakness, my friends. It's vulnerability. It's candor. It's leadership. And real leadership isn't dependent on always being right.
Laurie Baedke (03:32.756)
or appearing right. So maybe that's why I wanted to sit in a conversation like this with you today. Not because vulnerability is a trendy leadership topic. It's a buzzword for sure. It's not
Laurie Baedke (03:51.215)
So maybe that's why I wanted to have this conversation today. Not because vulnerability is a trendy leadership topic. It's not. And not because I think leaders should suddenly start oversharing every personal struggle with their teams. Please, please, please don't do that. That's not what this episode is about. This episode is about authenticity. It's about what happens when leaders become secure enough to let people see that they are still becoming at every single season.
Because leadership is not about arriving. That's not a destination any of us reach, truly. It's about continually becoming. Here's what that looks like in practice. Several weeks ago, I was on site with the leadership team of a hospital, and I posed a question that I've asked a number of times over the years. Who is the very best leader you've ever worked for? Not the smartest, not the one with the biggest title, not the most accomplished, the best.
Leader. Take just a second and picture that person in your mind. What made them memorable? What made you trust them? I've asked that question in keynote audiences and workshops all over the country, perhaps thousands of leaders. And do you know what almost never comes up? Nobody says they always had the answer. Nobody says they never made a mistake. Nobody says they projected perfection. Instead,
People talk about leaders and how they made them feel. Those leaders that made them feel heard or challenged, like they felt believed in, or like they felt safe enough to contribute, safe enough to disagree, safe enough to admit they didn't know something, and safe enough to grow. And I don't think that that's accidental. It's evidence. Because leadership has always been less about demonstrating your own capability.
And more about creating the conditions where other people discover theirs. But one of the things that I've noticed over the past several years is that we often confuse professionalism with an emotional distance. Somewhere along the way, I think many of us inherited the belief that good leaders need to look like they've all got it together. They never show uncertainty. They don't ask for help. They don't admit mistakes. They certainly don't let anyone else see them struggle.
Laurie Baedke (06:17.454)
And I wonder where that came from. Many of us learned leadership by watching people who genuinely believed that was their responsibility. They weren't trying to be inauthentic, they were trying to be steady, trying to inspire confidence, trying to potentially
Trying to protect the people around them. But I wonder if unintentionally, we have also been teaching an entire generation that leadership means pretending. And I'm not sure that that's serving us anymore, or perhaps that it ever did. Because today's workforce, our teams, our residents, our fellows, our new managers, they're not asking whether we have all the answers. They're asking a different question. Can I trust you?
That's the question. Not are you perfect? Are you real? The question is.
Laurie Baedke (07:20.002)
Because today's workforce, our teams, our residents.
Laurie Baedke (07:28.568)
But I wonder if unintentionally we also taught an entire generation that leadership meant pretending. And I'm not sure that that's serving us anymore. Because today's workforce, our teams, our residents, our fellows, our new managers, they're not asking whether we have all the answers. They're asking a different question. Can I trust you? That's the question. Not are you perfect, but are you real?
And the research actually supports this also. Gallup has consistently found that managers account for the majority of the variants in employee engagement. Depending on the study, it's around 70%. Think about that. 70% is an incredible amount of influence. And when researchers look more closely at highly engaged teams, they don't find perfect leaders, they find trusted leaders. Some organizations have found that when leaders model vulnerability
Laurie Baedke (08:28.504)
Some organizations have found that when leaders vo
Laurie Baedke (08:34.626)
Some organizations have found that when leaders model vulnerability appropriately, when they admit uncertainty, invite input, acknowledge mistakes, and ask for help, employee engagement increases significantly. And why would that happen? Because engagement isn't created by charismatic speeches, it grows out of trust. When people believe they can tell the truth, they contribute differently.
When they know mistakes become learning opportunities instead of blame sessions, they take more initiative. When they know it's safe to ask questions, they bring greater curiosity. When they aren't spending enormous amounts of energy protecting themselves, they're finally free to invest that energy in solving problems and bringing their best selves to their work. That's what engagement really looks like.
That's what engagement really looks like. It's trust in motion. And I think that's one of the reasons vulnerability matters. Not because vulnerability itself is the goal. Trust is the goal. Vulnerability is just one of the ways that we get there. And Harvard Business Review has written beautifully about this idea. I'll link to it in the show notes. One article that really resonated with me talked about how vulnerability has shifted from being thought of as some grand emotional gesture to something much simpler.
Just small acts of bravery. I love that phrase. Small acts of bravery. Because when I hear the word vulnerability, I immediately think some that people I think some people immediately imagine standing in front of a room pouring out every struggle you've ever experienced. And that's not leadership. And frankly, that's also not helpful. Instead, think about the small moments, saying, I could really use your help. Or
I changed my mind. Or could you tell me more? Or wow, I hadn't considered your perspective. Or I owe you an apology. Those don't sound dramatic, but over time those little moments accumulate like small deposits in a trust bank account that compound and grow.
Laurie Baedke (10:53.432)
Trust is usually never built in any one heroic act. It's built in hundreds of ordinary interactions where people quietly conclude that person is real. So if we shift the conversation to focus on application, what role does authenticity or vulnerability play in leadership by example? One key component of leading is helping other people believe that they're capable of becoming the leaders that they're meant to be. And authenticity has everything to do with that.
I mean, I worry sometimes, especially about early career professionals, residents, new attending physicians, first time managers, and emerging leaders, because I think that they are so often comparing their behind the scenes to everyone else's highlight reel. They look at the department chair or the CEO or the keynote speaker or the social media influencer, the person who is two or twenty two years ahead of them, and they quietly assume.
They've always been like that, confident, composed, certain, successful. But that's almost never true. What they're seeing is today's version, not the years of becoming that preceded it. And somewhere along the way, I think we unintentionally reinforce that illusion because we tell the polished stories.
We share our success stories. We reach for the stories with neat endings, the award, the promotion, the publication, the standing ovation. What we don't often share are the 14 manuscript rejections before the publication, or the grant application that didn't get funded, or the promotion we desperately wanted that went to someone else. The interview we brought. The interview we bombed. The presentation that completely flopped.
The meeting where we left thinking, maybe I'm not cut out for this. Those stories matter not because they make us look humble and not because vulnerability is fashionable. Those stories matter because they normalize growth and perseverance and becoming. So here's a coaching framing I'd love to sit with for a moment. Success hides the process, but authentic leaders occasionally reveal it. I really, really believe that.
Laurie Baedke (13:15.308)
Because success has a funny way of making that journey invisible. People see the outcome. They rarely see the repetitions, the revisions, the disappointments, the doubts, the ordinary Tuesdays that eventually lead to extraordinary careers. And maybe that's why I've become convinced that authentic leadership isn't primarily something we owe ourselves. It's something we owe the people coming behind us.
As leaders, we have to intentionally vulnerability.
Laurie Baedke (13:50.944)
As leaders, we have to intentionally vulnerability.
Laurie Baedke (13:59.863)
As leaders, we have to intentionally and courageously and appropriately share our missteps, our bloopers and blunders so that they can be instructive to others who are following us. We have to show them the underside of our tapestry. The top of a tapestry, it's beautiful, elegant. Everything appears exactly where it belongs, doesn't it? But when you turn it over, it's complete chaos.
Loose threads, knots, colors running in every different direction. Nothing looks finished. Nothing looks polished. If you don't know better, you might wonder how something so beautiful could possibly coexist with something that looks so messy. And leadership is just like that. Most people only ever see the front of our tapestry. They see today's version, the confidence, the title, the experience. They don't see the underside.
Our self-doubt, our mistakes, the awkward conversations, and the opportunities that didn't work out. The revisions, the failures, the learning, the becoming. That's the opportunity to lead by example. Let's share an occasional glimpse of the underside. Not all of it, not every thread, not every struggle. Authenticity is not about emotional dumping. There's a big difference.
Vulnerability without boundaries isn't leadership. In fact, Brene Brown is in fact Brene Brown has famously said vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability.
Laurie Baedke (15:43.651)
Vulnerability without boundaries isn't leadership. In fact, Brene Brown has famously said vulnerability without boundar vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability. The point isn't to create an emotional labor for the people around us, it's to create connection and trust. So ask yourself a question Who benefits if I tell this story? And if the primary beneficiary is you, you probably need to process it somewhere else. With a coach, a trusted colleague, a friend.
But if telling your story helps someone else believe that they're not alone, if it helps a mentee keep going after a rejection, if it helps a new leader realize that confidence isn't cultivated,
Laurie Baedke (16:29.59)
If it helps a new leader realize that confidence is cultivated and earned, not inherited, if it reminds someone that setbacks don't disqualify them, then maybe that story is a gift. Maybe that's stewardship. I think particularly about mentors I've had throughout my own career. The ones who impacted me most were not ones who appeared flawless. They were the ones who occasionally pulled back the curtain, who shared their moments of struggle or doubt.
Or flat-out failure. Those conversations changed me. Not because they lowered the standard, quite the opposite. They reminded me that excellence isn't reserved for people who never struggled. Excellence is built by people who keep showing up, who keep learning, who keep becoming. And maybe that's the greatest gift authentic leaders give the people around them: not admiration, hope.
Because hope sounds like this. If they became, maybe I can too. So tell the story about the misstep. Tell the story about getting passed over. Tell the story about changing lanes or making a bold pivot. Not because you're trying to appear humble, but because someone needs evidence. Evidence that becoming takes time and patience and effort.
Evidence that mistakes aren't disqualifying. And evidence that growth almost always looks messy while you're living it. So here's a question I'll leave you with. How do people see themselves after spending time with you? Not how do they see you? How do they see themselves? Do they leave conversations with you believing that they're more capable? Do they leave feeling more courageous, more hopeful?
More willing to speak up, more willing to keep learning. Because if that's true, then I think that's the real work of leadership. Helping people to discover capacities they couldn't yet see in themselves and grow in them. So this week, I want you to think about someone who's watching you. Maybe it's a new manager, an administrative fellow, a chief resident, a colleague, one of your children, perhaps.
Laurie Baedke (18:55.532)
Someone who's wondering whether they'll ever become the kind of leader that you are. Now ask yourself, what part of my journey have I never shared that might give them permission to keep going? Give someone a glimpse of the underside of your tapestry. Not all of it, just enough for them to realize theirs isn't unraveling. It's simply still being woven.
And maybe that's one of the greatest gifts that we can give one another as leaders is not the illusion that we've arrived, but the confidence to keep becoming. My friends, thank you for joining me for another episode of the Growth Edge Leadership Podcast. If today's conversation encouraged you, I'd be grateful if you'd subscribe, leave a review, or share this episode with another leader who could use the reminder that authenticity and excellence are not competing ideas. In fact,
I think the strongest leaders pursue both. So until next time, my friend, keep growing, keep leading, keep becoming. I'm rooting for you.
