Growth isn’t always graceful, and that’s kind of the point.

We all want to lead with excellence. But if you’re stretching, learning, or doing anything new, you’re going to miss the mark sometimes.

I still remember the early days of my speaking career. My decks were rough. My delivery was nervous. I can vividly recall walking off stage thinking, I have so much to learn. And I did. 

But the truth is: That messiness wasn’t a sign I didn’t belong, it was proof I was in motion. 

Mastery never shows up fully formed. It’s built over time, through reps, risk, feedback, and persistence. It requires humility to admit where you are, courage to keep showing up, and curiosity to learn from each attempt.

If you’re in the messy middle, welcome! That’s where growth lives.

The “Stuck in the Middle” Effect

We’ve all experienced it: wholly engrossed in a project when, out of nowhere, progress feels impossible. Maybe you don’t know what the next step is. Maybe you’re questioning the point of the whole thing. This applies to everything from writing a research paper to leading systems change in your organization.

Psychologists call this the “stuck in the middle” effect. Motivation tends to peak at the beginning and end of a project, but dips significantly in the middle. At the start, we measure how far we’ve come from where we began. Toward the end, the finish line pulls us forward. But in the middle? We often fixate on how far we still have to go.

It’s also where novelty wears off. The adrenaline fades. The grind sets in. We start asking, Is this even working? Am I making a difference?

If you’ve felt that lately, you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re just in the messy middle.

Why embracing imperfection matters:

→ It keeps you honest.

Perfection is a moving target. Progress is measurable, and far more meaningful.

→ It builds resilience.

Getting back up after a tough try is where confidence is forged.

→ It makes you better.

When you’re open to feedback, you don’t just grow, you accelerate.

→ It reminds you you’re human.

And so is your team. Modeling grace in the mess gives others permission to grow, too.

Ready to Get Unstuck? Try This:

→ Reframe the Flop

Not every try needs to be a triumph. Misses are data, not failure.

Put it into practice: Reflect on one recent misstep. What did it teach you? What will you try differently next time?

→ Ask for Feedback, Not Validation
The goal isn’t to be showered with praise, it’s the pursuit of refinement.

Put it into practice: Invite feedback from someone you trust. Be specific: “What’s one thing I could improve?”

→ Celebrate Small Wins
Waiting to celebrate until the end is a surefire way to burn out.

Put it into practice: Make a short list of what is working. Savor the progress you’ve already made.

Wherever you are in your journey, take heart:

The mess is not a detour. It’s the work.

Progress rarely looks polished in real time, but with perspective, we see its shape. So if you’re in the thick of it right now, keep going. Show up, stay curious, and surround yourself with people who challenge and cheer for you.

This week, take a moment to look back at something you once struggled with that now feels second nature. What changed? What did you learn? And how might that same persistence serve you where you are today?

You are in the journey of becoming, and that’s worth honoring.

I'm rooting for you!

CURATED PROFESSIONAL RESOURCES

for the leader who wants to dig a little deeper

Navigating the Messy Middle, EntreLeadership Podcast with Scott Belsky

 

Breaking Through When You Feel Stuck, HBR IdeaCast Podcast with NYU Stern's Adam Alter

“The middle is messy, but it's also where the magic happens.”

Brene Brown