Why It Works To Ask

I want to let you in on a little secret. There may be just one vital element that separates you from the seemingly fearless, and it’s not just a genetic proclivity toward being brave: Those individuals who appear so courageous have lived the benefits of overcoming fear and going after what they want.

They know a little awkwardness and a few scary moments are well worth it in the end.

I told you recently about the importance of putting your fear of rejection aside and just asking for what you want. If you still feel a little queasy about this, though, and have never really made it a habit of asking for what you want, look at the art of asking not necessarily in terms of what you’ll get out of “Just doing it” but in terms of what the person you ask will get out of helping you.

Once you think of it like this, it just makes sense to go for it – and the question doesn’t seem so scary.

That said, it works to ask for three key reasons outside of what I already told you:

  1. People like to help others as a general rule. If it’s within their capacity to do so, most people operate within the realm of “the gift goes to the giver.” Remember how good you felt the last time you volunteered, or did someone a favor, or paid something forward? There’s joy in helping others. Personal growth can be achieved by lending a hand – and the gratification that results is pretty nice, too.
  2. Though it may sound slightly selfish, chances are you’re also helping the other person. There is often a mutual exchange of benefits. A reciprocal altruism, or tit-for-tat. Though they may be helping you by answering “yes,” over the longer term they’ll also be able to tap into your skill sets and realize you’ll be in a good position to return the favor.
  3. Speaking of returning the favor, this person has walked in your shoes before and, invariably, if not for someone answering “yes” to them at some point, they would not be in the enviable position they’re in now. People don’t forget such assistance. They’re more than willing to pay such thoughtfulness and generosity forward by helping others.

More than anything, what’s the worst that can happen? Even if you’re declined, you are just one step closer to a “yes” because you are now equipped with the knowledge and experience that will be an asset to you the next time you go for that ask.


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