If failure is a teacher, I’ve had my share of “learning moments” in life. One such event could have earned me an honorary doctorate. (If the diploma ever arrives, I’m guessing it’s going to read “school of hard knocks”).

Shortly before the birth of my second child, I unexpectedly lost my firm’s only other employee. It was a tumultuous time, to say the least. I scrambled to perform and deliver for my clients, but ultimately I experienced some painful failures. And I let clients down.

I added two new colleagues to the team, and my business started to experience tremendous growth. In fact, we were in the very fortunate position of being able to double the staff size again to meet demand. But, the residual impact of the recent failures remained. For me.

Instead of successfully finding positive in and moving past these experiences, the failures lingered and mushroomed– they psychologically devastated me. I felt, personally, like a failure. My self-worth took a significant hit. Just as my firm was starting to gain some traction, I was losing ground. I simply wasn’t myself and, more importantly, I wasn’t the leader the firm needed at the time.

During these years, I was wrestling with a desire to pursue new business opportunities. To devote myself more exclusively to speaking and training. I kept thinking that if we just grew a bit more, that I would be freed up to “do my own thing”.

One word.

Delusional.

Despite the positive growth, and our newfound team, I started to make decisions based off of emotion. I was losing objectivity. I allowed, really, one significant event to grab hold of me. I let that event dictate everything, at a time when circumstances demanded stellar, committed, confident leadership.

Ultimately, I ended up dismantling the atomic bomb. Without focus and passion for the firm in its current construct, I was not capable of guiding its continued growth.

Now, I know that failures don’t define us. And failures certainly aren’t final (if you don’t LET THEM become the be-all, end-all). That truth, my friends, is easier said than lived.

Unfortunate circumstances, resulting mistakes—it’s as inevitable as taxes. Sure, these mis-steps hurt but, like I’ve mentioned before, you’ve got to brush it off—keep going. Don’t allow these events to bring you down. Out of the challenges that come with adversity, come opportunities to rise above in a way that, perhaps, wouldn’t have been accomplished without the fortitude resulting from what could have been a major setback.

We’ve all had supervisors who leave a lot to be desired, shall we say? By that, they’re making the emotional judgment calls, they’re micromanaging perhaps. It’s obvious to everyone BUT the supervisor that he or she is losing control and trying to compensate by making these emotionally-charged moves.

You don’t want to be in a position where you’re an ineffective, even damaging, leader and everyone knows it BUT YOU.

As a strong, effective leader, you’ll be self-aware enough to recognize that you’re changing—and not for the better. By recognizing how you’ve changed, you’ll be able to enlist help if need be. You’ll consult with your mentors or peers. You will take the corrective action that is needed.

By first recognizing the issues at hand, and then addressing them, you’ll thwart any further damage from occurring to you professionally and personally (and prevent damage to your broader team).

Remember, failure is not final. Just because it starts with an “F” doesn’t mean that’s the grade you’ll end up with.  Don’t become negatively absorbed by it, but use it.

Learn from it.

Address how the failure occurred and make improvements accordingly.

In the end, with failure as your most strict and scary teacher, you will make the grade.