If You’re Not At the Table, You Can Bet You’re On the Menu

Have any difficult conversations you’ve been putting off? Uncomfortable meetings you would do anything to get out of? Listen up to the words of a wise hospital CEO that I know: “If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu.”

Sounds pretty dire, doesn’t it? As much as you may be dreading a conversation regarding, perhaps, an incident that has reached mission-critical stage, you should dread even more what those attending said meeting will be saying about you if you’re not there.

If you’re not sitting at that table you will, in fact, be on the menu. Yes, you are throwing yourself out there to be criticized. But isn’t it better to have that criticism said to your face, as opposed to wondering what’s being said about you behind your back? And you can bet, when you’re not available yet are expected to be present, the things being said about you will be far worse than had you showed up.

Having the courage to face difficult conversations will earn you respect that is precious equity in this moment, and likely future ones as well.

Simply skipping a meeting that you dread or constantly avoiding a discussion because you know it will be contentious will not make the issue contributing to such awkward or intimidating feelings disappear. If conditions have deteriorated to the point where an uncomfortable discussion is warranted, then your lack of attention to the issue will undoubtedly only make a bad situation worse.

It’s during these difficult times that your leadership will be tested. A real leader can’t be absent when they’re needed most. If that’s the route you choose to take, you have failed the test. Let your fear of not having a say in your or your team’s destiny, or your fear of not having an opportunity to share your perspective or insight, far outweigh any concerns about being criticized or confronted which are preventing you from stepping up to the table in the first place.

Write the menu. Select from it. Just don’t be on it.