But, in the case of leadership, having a short-term memory can be an asset.

I heard a legendary professional football player say once in an interview that the best athletes have to have a very short memory.

How? Look at it this way: The quarterback throws a costly interception in the big game. The golfer’s swing is off during the final round of a major tournament. Does the quarterback wallow in his mistake? Does the golfer get so clouded by the issue that his performance is virtually paralyzed?

No. Professionals move on. They shake it off and get back in the game.

As leaders, we must realize mistakes are bound to happen, and we cannot allow those mistakes to define us. I, for one, have shared a few of my Big Hairy Audacious Goof-ups in “rookie mistakes” posts. But those three posts represent just a fraction of the gaffes I’ve made during my career.

Did I let those errors influence my conduct? No. If I had allowed those failures define my actions, I would have constantly second-guessed myself. A second-guesser doesn’t even have control over herself and her own destiny, so how can she lead a team?

We should be defined, rather, by how we rebound from the mistake – not by the mistake itself. There is a lot of character and courage that comes with a successful recovery.

So, instead of dwelling on a mistake, say, “What mistake?” In fact, with the exception of leveraging the error to learn from it, there is no reason to sit and stew over it.

Since we are human, and we are by no means perfect, there is ample opportunity to practice the mental discipline that comes with dusting ourselves off and getting back into the game to achieve what may be the performance of a lifetime.

Last week my husband and I surprised our kids with a trip to Disneyland. It was nearly impossible to keep a fun secret like that for four months, but we had a completely perfect winter | birthday | Valentine’s day | just because family getaway.

Here are four fun facts from our stay at the house of mouse.

1. I do not wait in lines (well). Ok, moving on….

2. There is no better feeling on earth than having to hold the hand of one of my small humans all day, every day, for days on end. It was delicious.

3. Speaking of delicious, I heart these Mickey Mouse ice cream bars. I had one each afternoon. And I am now in full-blown withdrawal. I wonder if Disney ships???

4. There may have been 30 or 40 thousand other people there with us, but I swear there was a bubble around our little party of 4. And that….was magical.

Make it a zippety-do-dah day, my friends!

To the town of Parkersburg, Iowa (pop. 1,889), Thomas was a coaching legend of epic proportion.

In his more than three decades at Aplington-Parkersburg High School, he led the Falcons to two state titles, cultivated four athletes who went on to play football in the NFL from this tiny rural community, and earned the prestigious NFL High School Coach of the Year Award in 2005 and the 2010 ESPY Arthur Ashe Award (must. watch. video.)

As impressive as his football resume may seem, Thomas was most known for his service to community and inspiring leadership; he was crucial in rebuilding the school after the entire town was devastated by an EF5 tornado in 2008. The Thomas family home was even destroyed, yet the school was ready for the first game of the season thanks to his guiding force.

His words are also ready-made to be quoted time and time again. Thomas was known for saying: “If you do the small things well, the big things will take care of themselves.”

What he was saying is you’ve got to master the basics – form and technique – before you even make it to the field. Otherwise, how will you perform effectively? This applies just as much to addressing a problem in the boardroom as it does to the runningback making split-second decisions on the field.

Thomas’ lessons, as easily applied to the Friday night game as the game of life, are carried on by his former players and his adult children – who now coach in his place.

No doubt Thomas would still be plugging away, teaching the fundamentals of football and the really important things like family, if not for tragedy intervening.

Two and a half years ago, a former football player and diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic entered the school’s weightlifting “barn” and proceeded to shoot Thomas several times in front of nearly two-dozen then-players. CNN hadn’t even moved on to the next big story before the Thomas family was holding a press conference, urging the town to support the Becker family whose son had taken their father’s and husband’s life.

Yes, it’s evident in their winning games that Thomas’ players got the fundamentals down. But it’s also notable that his sons, and the community that later banded together to support both families impacted by this tragedy, mastered another Thomas true-ism: “If all I have taught you is how to block and tackle, then I have failed you as a coach.”

In your personal and professional life, focus on those seemingly little things as Thomas did with his players and the broader community. Because, time and time again, we are reminded, sometimes tragically, that it’s those “little things” that matter.

I’m kind of over Facebook. Why? Because it’s a huge distraction (and I need those like I need a hole in my head), and truthfully, I don’t like who I’m tempted to be on Facebook. It’s too easy to be who I want others to think I am, and less of who I genuinely am. And that’s not okay with me.

Recently, tech entrepreneur (yes, TECH entrepreneur) Daniel Gulati wrote in Harvard Business Review that Facebook is making us miserable.

OK, I love technology as much or more than the next person. My iPhone often equals my oxygen. And there is obvious value, particularly as an entrepreneur, in harnessing the power that is social media.

What Gulati is saying is that Facebook, in a short eight years, has gone from an innocuous mechanism to connect friends across the miles to a much more intrusive presence in our personal and professional lives.

Facebook is making us miserable, he contends, for three reasons:

1. It creates a “den” of comparison. It breeds unhappiness when we feel like we can’t measure up to our “friends.”
2. It’s fragmenting our time. When I’m constantly checking the latest updates, am I really present on the job, or with my own family? Facebook and other social networking sites can be huge distractions, cutting into our productivity and our performance.
3. Close relationships suffer. When we opt to Facebook post, instead of engaging in actual face-to-face conversation, or when we begin to resent the picture our once-close friends create of their lives online, the intimacy that is a hallmark of real friendships goes the way of the landline phone.

And I would add a fourth:

4.  It’s making us increasingly narcissistic. Do I really think others care what I ate for lunch | how many goals my kid scored in their soccer game | what my opinion of the city’s snow removal service is | where I’m vacationing | how annoyed I am at my co-worker, etc, etc, etc.

Look, perhaps it’s not realistic to simply eliminate Facebook from your life. We live in an online world. BUT maybe we do need to go on a Facebook diet. Here are three easy steps (to address three problems):

1. Work to maintain your true self online, not just the edited version of yourself that it’s easy to put forth.
2. Inventory how much time you are spending online, and decide if there are more important priorities that you are neglecting in the pursuit of virtual “interaction”.
3. Set aside dedicated “Facebook” times, perhaps a touch fewer than you’re allowing now, and balance them with a like number of in-person connections.

Facebook need not make us more miserable or less productive. Let’s harness it the right way this year to make our professional and business lives much happier! Live your life to the fullest in both the online and offline worlds.

By “S.O.” I’m talking about your spouse, your life partner, your best friend – that significant person in your life that you can’t live without (or with, sometimes!).

So what is the real significance of the Significant Other when it comes to leadership?

Borrowing from a blogger whom I deeply admire, Michael Hyatt, and his relatively recent post on Spouse-as-Best-Friend: “Your marriage [Laurie’s edit here: or other significant relationship] is a living example of what it is like to be in a close relationship with you. This is why it is so important that leaders get it right if they want to influence others.”

And just as happy home life positively impacts office life, Hyatt also notes that “nothing can undermine your effectiveness as a leader faster than a bad marriage.”

But I look at the power of this strong friendship in another way as well: Though we overlook our S.O.’s influence in a professional role, this individual is a key asset to us even in leadership – as this relationship provides many of the elements that we just can’t get (or get to such a degree) in our work relationships.

These elements and qualities include unwavering support and unconditional acceptance. When we are facing difficulties in our careers, and have no one to turn to in our work environment, at least when we get home we know there is someone who believes in us, understands us, accepts us, and is a shoulder to lean on.

We need a person in our lives that we know we can turn to, who doesn’t have a hidden agenda and is genuinely interested in our well-being – someone who can recharge us when we’re exhausted and no longer want to go on, and reassure us when we’re questioning our abilities and decisions.

Most importantly, in our jobs, so much hinges on our performance. Our performance on-the-job is how we earn respect, trust, and admiration. But our loved ones love us just because “we are.” We don’t have to meet a certain quota or execute on a certain strategic initiative to gain their acceptance.

Take it from me: Not only is my husband, Wes, my best friend (and has been since high school) but he has also been a tremendous asset in my career. You know how opposites attract? When I’m almost unrealistically optimistic, he offers pragmatic realism. He grounds me – is a voice of reason. I am an activator. He is deliberative. I am passionate. He is consistent. I am impulsive. He is disciplined. He provides me with so many qualities that I don’t have in myself and, as cheesy as it may sound, I would not be the leader – or person – that I am today without him.

Our marriage is not perfect…..not by a long shot. He does things that irritate me to no end. And I know that I can be very hard to tolerate (he deserves a medal for putting up with me!) But we are committed, and we appreciate the dividends of investing in making our relationship successful despite our flaws and failures.

A successful marriage is a foundation that is invaluable to a leader, influencer, professional, or entrepreneur. Choose wisely. Invest aggressively.

Who is your “S.O.”? Your voice of reason or, on the flipside, your voice of encouragement? Don’t take these relationships lightly, and let these individuals in your life know how much you value them.

As someone who has literally interviewed hundreds of job candidates over the course of my career, I can’t stress enough that simply having the technical capabilities down pat is the price of admission.  Though technical prowess may get you in the door, your charisma, your character, your personality, your sincerity – all those things will secure you a second interview and maybe even the job.

I have a friend in the process of interviewing for an exec position who embodies that genuine, engaging “people person.” Though it can be unnerving to interject your humor and authenticity into an interview, my friend reminded me of the power of letting your genuine self shine through. Those positive personal qualities that make him a good friend and a stellar leader really resonated with the interviewee. She “got” him.

It’s risky, perhaps. But then again, so is a positional or cultural mismatch.

You’re not a robot. It’s not enough to go into an interview with all the technical boxes checked. At best, simply being “capable” of fulfilling the responsibilities of the job is 20 percent of what your prospect boss is looking for. The other 80 percent is “Do you fit – with your would-be colleagues? Your supervisors? The organization? The culture? Can they see themselves working with you | collaborating with you | socializing with you | connecting with you?”

Likewise, just because you didn’t get the job at Company “A” doesn’t mean you won’t get the job at Company “B.” A rejection letter doesn’t equate to your not being viable in said position you’re applying for – you just may not be a “fit” for that particular organization.

Remember: It’s not a one-way street here.  The hiring manager isn’t the only one on the search. You, too, are searching for the perfect fit, and shoehorning yourself into an organization that only matches your technical prowess (not your personality or attitude) isn’t good for employer or employee.

We must seek out cheerleaders. I’m not talking about the accountability partners who “keep you honest” and call you out for your own good – so you remain on task.

I’m talking about those people in our lives that find the sun on the gloomiest of days, the beauty in the most horrible of surroundings, the positives in the greatest of disappointments.

Like accountability partners, they push us – but the methods these “Rah-Rah” types employ are different. They’re not only available but enthusiastic about brushing us off and giving us the sincerest, most encouraging words when we fall down.

They believe in us.

They understand our dreams.

And, they support us unconditionally.

I rewind in my mind to the last few, painful miles of a race when I don’t possibly have any more juice within me to go on. Then I see my personal cheerleaders in the crowd, calling my name and shouting words of encouragement. Suddenly, I have magically sprouted wings on my feet and I’m back on course.

Few things in life are guaranteed, but mistakes and failure are certain. If you aspire to greatness, you’ll undoubtedly skin your knees along the way. And when you do, it helps to have someone around to remind you that everything will be okay.

There are enough people wanting to take you down a peg or two in this world. Why not have someone in your corner who believes in you? It will do wonders for your belief in yourself.

Who’s got your back?

That’s okay for the masses, because frankly, not everyone wants or needs to deal with your truth. But it’s critical that we get honest from time to time.

Do you have “accountability partners” in your life that won’t take “fine” for an answer? A small but important circle of confidants that delves beyond the superficial? They know the “real” you well enough — and care enough — that they hold you accountable to your goals during the trying times when you need that discipline most.

My close friend texts me to assure I that I logged my long run on the coldest of cold days.

I have a colleague who calls BS when I’m overfilling my plate and setting unrealistic expectations.

There’s a peer that I can always count on to call or email and check in on my progress toward goals that I’ve shared.

In a society where it’s too easy to retreat behind the image we have built for ourselves on Facebook or Twitter, who knows the real you? Will give you a little nudge (or a big ol’ smack upside the head), and keep you on task?

“Fine” is the Little Black Dress when it comes to casual dealings with your neighbors or your employees. But “fine” can become as unfashionable as a pair of acid wash jeans if no one (but yourself) gets to the real you and your real circumstances to push you to be your best.

Accountability partners never fall out of fashion. Who calls you out?

Nearly 75 percent of Americans have already abandoned that start of the year goal. So the odds are against us. But we do ourselves no favors.

We all like to dream big.

It’s fun and it’s easy.

But when it comes time to put in the blood, sweat, tears necessary to realize those dreams, we all too easily settle into the daily grind and fall back on our old habits. Our fears of failure (or even success) get in the way of our achieving new or big things.

We need to not only dream, but expect that good things will happen to us.

Those individuals still cracking away at their New Year’s Resolutions don’t see the goal as an “if” but a “when.”

The individuals who boast big expectations boast three key characteristics:

1. They consistently seek new opportunities through networking or a simple “Ask. They’re not waiting for it to happen to them, they’re making it happen!
2. They’re outcome-oriented. They know where they need to go so well that they can see and taste that goal. The destination is palpable. Vision. Clarity. Focus.
3. They’re consistently measuring progress. They know what investments are required to meet their goals, and they’re consistently tracking the steps toward that goal. The journey is as clearly envisioned as the destination. And we all know that what gets measured gets managed.

Even though the 1^st came and went, don’t make any excuses to set that Big Hairy Audacious Goal now. Shatter limited thinking by possessing the characteristics necessary to expect great things.

By reversing this maxim, I don’t mean we should throw empathy out the window.

Just the opposite.

We need to understand that “one-size-fits-all” maxims don’t apply to leadership, because you’re dealing with diverse personalities. What works for one team member may not work for another. We’re all wired differently, and when we apply the same approach or philosophy uniformly, without taking these differences into account, we might as well be speaking Greek to those individuals who don’t embrace said approach.

I’ll bet there are members of your team who are motivated by criticism, but others who tend to crumble under reproach yet blossom when praised.

Perhaps you have an employee who craves splashy, public acknowledgments of their contributions, but another who is far more private and to whom a big display of recognition would be off-putting.

Get to know your team as individuals.

The best leaders identify not only talent, but each employee’s unique behavioral traits. They know that Jill will walk through fire for you if she’s given a little flexibility to work from home, whereas Jack is all about pay for performance.

To effectively motivate your employees you must know more than their [fill-in-the-blank] job description.

Ask questions.

Get to know what drives them, and what stops them dead in their tracks.

Listen closely.

Sit back and observe.

Manage accordingly.

Move over, cookie-cutter Golden Rule. Let this tailored leadership approach lead to platinum performance.